PARTLY FACETIOUS: The definition of an insomniac

"You know sleep is important."
"Indeed, a well rested individual would take more informed decisions than someone who is not well rested."
"True, but what constitutes a good rest differs from individual to individual. A recent news report revealed that George Bush slept for around nine hours every day - bed time at 9 pm and he was in office at 6:45 in the morning."
"Hmmm, and that enabled him to accomplish his mission. His dad on the other hand used to sleep at around 2 am and wake up at 4 am... OK, that's an insomniac and before you ask they don't take siestas in the US."
"That's an assumption my friend. How long did Clinton sleep and Trump?"
"Clinton slept for five to six hours every day and he would call his staff when awake while D Trump trumps them all: he has claimed that he sleeps for 4 to 5 hours every day."
"Is that fake news or what?"
"Or what I would imagine... I heard Trump himself saying that he sleeps at around midnight or 1 am and then is awake at 5 am."
"And he doesn't even have to say his Fajr prayers...impressive."
"You are being facetious - Trump doesn't say the Muslim early morning prayers because he is not a Muslim you moron....he gets up because...because..."
"I know as you get older you need less sleep and need I add Trump is the oldest amongst all the presidents you have named so..."
"I reckon your US visa will be revoked because you are the spreader of fake news."
"Hey, that's not fair and by the way how long does your prime minister sleep every day?"
"He sleeps at 9 pm doctor's orders and then is wide awake for Fajr prayers which are at around 6 am these days, so that's about 9 hours and then he sleeps in the afternoon for an hour or two before afternoon tea and..."
"What about his deputy?"
"Dar sahib sleeps very little - he is busy working..."
"Too bad, the number of hours worked are not a measure of performance."
"Indeed and therefore our prime minister's 4 to 5 hours of daily work, including inaugurating development projects - sometimes twice - produce much more output than Dar can ever hope to achieve."
"You said that with a straight face so I assume you are serious."
"I will not respond on the grounds that it may incriminate me."
"Dar sahib is sending notices to a lot of your colleagues and so beware..."
"I repeat: I will not respond on the grounds that it may incriminate me."